Hello dear family,
Time is flying! The older you get the faster it goes, too! I remember as a kid when an hour felt like a life time away! An hour today, well.. there’s not a lot one can do in an hour. It’s just enough time to get nothing done. haha! I remember growing up and I’d be ready to go to the pool in the summer… almost everyday my mom would respond to my “can we leave now” to “in an hour”…. those are dreadful words to a child.
Well, I have an hour and I’m going to spend it with you guys! Catching you up on well… my life as it is in this season.
My second semester at bible college has been such a wonderful experience. I feel almost as if I have gone back in time to re-live my 20′s. Which is kinda sweet considering I sadly don’t remember my 20′s. It’s been one super busy season. I haven’t experienced a work load like this in quite a while, maybe ever. This season of classes has challenged me so much. Tons of reading, tons of writing, campus job, (most importantly)time with the Lord. I do apologize that my blogging hasn’t been frequent, but I haven’t had much time for anything other than doing homework and as we all know.. time just flies. Where did it go!
The Lord has been teaching me so much during my 3 months here on campus. To be honest with you all, it’s been humbling. Living by campus rules that I don’t understand is difficult. I don’t understand why I can’t have a drink in my room, or a snack in my room. Why I can’t have a thermos of coffee in the auditorium. There is no way that you can spill those suckers! Why do I have to wake up at 7:45 even if I don’t have chapel or classes? These rules I have struggled with a little bit and the Lord has showed me in and though them… just how hard it is for me to die to my own flesh. I’m very stubborn. I have zero problem giving up things that I don’t really care about.. but when it comes to ‘my things’ the things that I WANT… well that’s a different story. I like to determine what’s important to give up, instead of letting the Lord determine it. Instead of coming under the authority of Calvary Chapel regardless of rules that I don’t understand. However, I’m learning! You’d think I’d know this stuff by now. Dying to my flesh! My wants! My desires! Lime chips in my bed at 10 pm. Well, it didn’t take the Lord long to humble me and show me how much I suck at submitting to him. Walking in obedience can be so hard. I’m not gonna lie. If I really give the Lord my ear to speak… He does. Often… I dont’ like it. Nah! Lord… that’s not a big deal. You dont’ care about that. That’s sin! I had to repent! and I’ve had to stop drinking coffee in the mornings. Well, I’m not gonna get up early enough to drink it before chapel.. so, for me, that means no coffee now. I am doing my best to obey these rules now. And lets be honest…. you all know..it’s prob best that I’m forced to chill on coffee a little bit. haha! And ya know what… It’s not been that bad. Most days, I have no coffee until after my morning classes. Guess what! I’m still alive.
As I was talking about time… it is really easy here to get so busy with homework and put off personal time with the Lord. I’ve had to fight for it here, more than any other time ever. Praying. Getting in the Word. Sitting before the Lord. Having that closeness with God. It’s a battle. One the Lord is totally helping me with! Discipline has never been my very strong suit, but I’m learning it. I hope to leave hear in a year with some strong discipline skills in my back pocket. On the upside…My favorite times have been Father/Daughter walks at night around the lake. It will likely be those times that I will reflect on when I look back upon my time here at CCBC.
I have made some really great friends here and I’m getting into my grove.
This campus is special! It’s a place that has been created to allow followers of Christ to come and just focus solely on the Lord. It’s a season. It’s not real life. It’s a blessing. I’m blessed. I’m being stretched. I’m growing. I’m learning. May God be glorified! His grace and love amazes me!
As I finish up my 2nd semester (I have 2 weeks left) I am pondering my summer. Haiti is always calling and I’m praying about a summer there. Please join me in prayer for that. I really desire you prayers for that! I long to be there and be with my kids and my Haitians! But, I’m just trusting the Lord that He will give me some specific guidance as to whether I should walk toward Haiti for the summer in faith or if I should sit still and see what God will do. I struggle between these two. I find both examples in the bible. Waiting upon the Lord and allowing Him to move and then faithfully walking toward something and giving God the opportunity to guide my steps as I move. I have the time to go, I do not have the funds to go. But, I have never had the funds to go. God has always provided. I trust that He will if He wants me to go. God is my only father, and my family in a large way. I depend greatly on Him for everything. Without Him I would be, do, have nothing. He has given and done so much for me. I”m so blessed beyond measure by His love and kindness to me. I still sin against Him and He still loves me. Amazing! I’ve enjoyed this journey for the past year and life with my Lord and Father could not be sweeter. I want to please Him so deeply with my life! In holiness and obedience. Not because I have to, but because He is so worthy of it! It’s like the only thing I can offer to Him… I so deeply want to give to Him back for all that He has done for me. But, I can’t. I can’t give Him a thing. I just pray that He would be pleased. That I can learn each day.. to give Him more of me.
It could be that the Lord may want me to stay in L.A and get a job this summer as well. That’s another option that I’m praying over. Would love prayer for that as well. Just guidance from the Lord. He has blessed me with a place to stay in L.A over the summer. So thankful for that! I suppose that I will just continue to pray and take each day as it comes. I hope honestly to end up in Haiti, because it’s so hard to continue to tell the kids that I don’t know when I’ll be back… but I know that God’s timing is so perfect and I want it to be His timing, His will, and His plan for my sending. If any of you get a word for me…. please send it!
I do still believe that He is calling me to Haiti after school full time. He has actually been quite on the issue and I don’t feel as though He’s spoken anything further to me than what He did when I was in Israel, but nevertheless…. what He did speak still stands. It’s hard sometimes to not lose sight of that. It’s very easy to begin to doubt it and wonder if that’s still His will for me. Either way… now is not the time to worry about it. He will show me. Right now! I’m in school. I’m learning so much and can’t wait to use some of this knowledge. I’m just excited to be able to join a conversation about a topic I might actually have a slight bit of knowledge about! haha.
I am ever blessed and thankful for each of you in my life! To those of you that subscribe to this blog and have encouraged me! Thank you! I can’t tell you how those times carry me. Change is hard for me, so when you guys send me word of encouragement and let me know that I”m not forgotten! It means more than you know! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! (I really don’t know what that means, but you know what I mean).
Also, here is a funny video of me and my roommate Kaitlyn! We love to talk like my nephew Holden!
And here is a cool quick video of our school wide baptisms this semester. 20 people got baptized.
May the Lord richly bless you all! Our God is so Good! Worthy of all praise and all honor and all glory!
“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. The longer I live the more my mind dwells upon the beauty and the wonder of the world.” – John Burroughs