In 2011, I begged God to give me back the three hours of my life the worst Academy Awards show in history stole.¬† The Academy‚Äôs attempt to make the show more youthful and contemporary, by hiring James Franco and Anne Hathaway to host, backfired and nearly had me poking my eyes out.
In 2012, the Academy over-corrected by going after the 50+ demographics when the blew the dust off of Billy Crystal and asked him to host again.¬† Crystal was head and shoulders more entertaining than Franco and Hathaway; however, he¬† just looked terrible.¬† The sexagenarian gave it his all with some jokes, some singing and some dancing.¬† It was sad seeing clear evidence of plastic surgery, the chubbiness and the age.¬† Putting it plainly, Billy did not look so ‚Äúmarvelous.‚ÄĚ¬† But that didn‚Äôt matter when we watched to be entertained.¬† His jokes, although stale, still made us laugh.¬† His singing, although overpowered by the music, made us smile.¬† And his dancing, well, I was afraid he was going to fall over and break a hip.¬† All said and done, I laughed, I cried, I questioned and I texted.
Now, enter a new age of the Academy Awards… not too young and not too old.¬† By hiring Seth MacFarlane to host, the Academy believed they were right there in the 25 to 49 demographic.¬†¬† The “sweet spot.”¬† The only problem was that Seth MacFarlane bombed almost as bad as¬† James Franco and Anne Hathaway.¬† Not because of anything he did, it was because of what he didn’t do… he wasn’t funny.¬† And that made this the most boring Oscars in history.
Our favorite snarker, Nikki Finke, said the following:
Uh-oh. Seth MacFarlane opens the show with a lame joke. No one laughs. He does an impression. No one knows who he‚Äôs imitating. Does this guy even have any experience doing standup? Obviously not. This is one of the lamest show openings I‚Äôve ever watched. The worst part is that Seth is killing every punchline by laughing over it. And here comes the inevitable Mel Gibson putdown.
This is going to be a loooooong night. ‚ÄúThe room is dead,‚ÄĚ says one agent from inside the Dolby Theatre.
Thank God, William Shatner (as Capt Kirk) is saying what I‚Äôm thinking; ‚ÄúThe show is a disaster.‚ÄĚ And I agree with that newspaper headline, ‚ÄúSeth MacFarlane Is Worst Oscar Host Ever.‚ÄĚ
If you are wondering, yes, it’s true.¬† William Shatner, dressed as Captain Kirk from Star Trek, beamed onto the stage to warned MacFarlane that he was about to ruin the Oscars and be branded the worst Oscar host ever. ‚ÄúThe show is a disaster. I‚Äôve come back in time ‚Ä¶ to stop you from ruining the Academy Awards.‚ÄĚ
Too bad he couldn’t really do that in real life.
Seth MacFarlane bombed.¬† His songs about boobs bombed.¬† His sexist and racist jokes bombed (again, supporting my longstanding theme that the left is dripping with racism).¬† He simply wasn’t funny.¬† And this went down in history as one of the longer and less entertaining Oscars in history.
And if an Oscar recipient went too long, they were played off with Jaws music.¬† Why didn’t somebody think of doing that to the narcissist Seth MacFarlane every time he opened his pie-hole?¬† If they had, they show would’ve been shorter and a lot more entertaining.¬† Maybe that’s something the Academy will consider next year.
@SethMacfarlane, @NikkiFinke, #Oscars, #Oscars2013