It seems that you have finally lost control of the fantasy. The darkness of lusting after young flesh has been brought into the light, and it seems “Coach” that you are now headed to prison.
Welcome to the nighttime that your victims, and your son, know well.
The showers will also pose a problem. It is a place, as you know, that leaves one quite vulnerable. Naked. Exposed. You will never again be able to bathe alone and in peace. The cleansing warmth of a simple shower will forever be tainted by the horror of intrusion, the panic of constantly being preyed upon, and the anxiety of relentlessly being watched. Unfortunately, “Coach”, there is no soap that can wash away this fear; no salve that will bring back the experience of losing yourself in the warm embrace of a shower.
All this, and yet the nagging and unyielding embarrassment will be your biggest challenge. Congratulations! Your diseased thirst for little boys is now infamous; your name synonymous with “pedophile”, “pervert”, and “molester”. Your journey on this planet, your legacy, will be forever connected to your predatory assaults on the innocent. Your history is set in stone.
You see, “Coach”, your end is your victim’s beginning. A beginning marked with hope, healing, and light. You no longer have control over anyone (including yourself). My deepest prayer is that one day you will find the courage to admit to, for the sake of every boy you’ve ever put your hands on, what you’ve done.