Last year I begged God to give me back the three hours of my life the worst Academy Awards show in history stole. The Academy’s attempt to make the show more youthful and contemporary, by hiring James Franco and Anne Hathaway to host, backfired and nearly had me poking my eyes out. Apparently, lesson learned.
The 84th Academy Award show moved out of the 18 to 24 demographic and tried to get into the 25 to 49 demographic by hiring Rush Hour director Brett Ratner to produce and his Tower Heist superstar, Eddie Murphy, to host; however, Ratner resigned after saying “rehearsal is for fags.” So, the Academy decided decided to play it safe, really safe. They reached into their bag of tricks and they pulled out… a bunch of old people.
The first troubling sign that the Academy Awards was going after that strongly desired 50+ demographic (sarcasm emphasized) was when they decided they were going to ban Sacha Baron Cohen from the show. It’s like I could hear someone’s grandpa yelling, “Get out of here you, damn kids, with your MTV and video games!” The story made headlines because Cohen intended on showing up in his latest character, Dictator Aladeen, and the Academy was afraid of the unknown that comes along with the comedic actor. Cohen responded by saying, “While I applaud the Academy for taking away my right to free speech, I warn that if you do not lift your sanctions, and give me my tickets by 12 pm Sunday, you will face unimaginable consequences!”
Cohen ended up receiving his tickets courtesy the new Academy Awards producer, Brian Grazer, who stated, “We’re thrilled to have him and he’ll be on the red carpet dressed as The Dictator.” Thank goodness, because as even as it was somewhat rude to Ryan Seacrest, he provided one of the most entertaining moments to what was otherwise a very dull night.
Then came a litany of old people. Sure, we love them, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are old. Morgan Freeman, 74, opened the show. Followed by the generally entertaining opening montage video that cleverly incorporates the host(s) with the Best Picture nominees. Ironically, the opening video promised “the youngest, hippest writers in town,” only to reveal several old men sitting around a table from the film Moneyball. This was followed by a cameo by teen pop star Justin Bieber, who sat on screen doing nothing for a few brief moments in an effort to get Billy Crystal “the 18 to 24 demographic.” These were precursors, foreshadowing an event that could only be fully appreciated at the local senior center or VFW. Billy Crystal, 63, then came on stage to do his shtick.
Crystal, heads and shoulders more entertaining than Franco and Hathaway, just looked terrible. The sexagenarian was giving it his all with some jokes, some singing and some dancing. It was sad seeing clear evidence of plastic surgery, the chubbiness and the age. Putting it plainly, Billy did not look so “marvelous.” But that shouldn’t matter when we’re watching to be entertained. His jokes, although stale, still made us laugh. His singing, although overpowered by the music, made us smile. And his dancing, well, I was afraid he might fall over and break a hip. All said and done, I laughed, I cried, I questioned and I texted.
Even many of the producers, presenters, nominees and winners were old. Christopher Plummer, 82, won for the supporting actor award for playing an gay father in Beginners (the oldest actor to ever win Best Actor). Meryl Streep, 62, won the best actress award for playing Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady. Woody Allen, 76, won for best original screenplay for Midnight in Paris. Dante Ferretti, 69, and his wife, Francesca Lo Schiavo, 65+, won for Best Art direction for Hugo. J. Roy Helland, 69, for Best Make Up in The Iron Lady. Martin Scorsese, 69, was nominated multiple times for Hugo. Letty Aronson, 69, was nominated for Midnight in Paris. Stephen Spielberg, 65, was nominated for War Horse. Terrence Malick, 68, was nominated for Best Director in Tree of Life. Glenn Close, 64, was nominated for Best Actress in Albert Nobbs. Nick Nolte, 71, nominated for Best Supporting Actor in Warrior. Max von Sydow, 82, nominated for Best Supporting Actor in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. John Williams, 80, nominated for Best Original Score for War Horse and The Adventures of Tintin. Howard Shore, 65, nominated for Best Original Score for Hugo. Sérgio Santos Mendes, 71, nominated for Best Original Song for The Muppets. Thelma Schoonmaker, 72, nominated for Best Editing for Hugo. Michael Douglas, 67, was a presenter. Don Mischer, 72, and Brian Grazer, 60, both produced the show. Michael David Seligman, 76, was the supervising producer for the show. Also, James Earl Jones, 81, and Dick Smith, 89, both received Academy Honorary Awards. Among many others.
But, really, what do you expect when the median age of Academy voters, according to a study by The Los Angeles Times, is 62 years old? When these guys aren’t chasing the kids off their lawns in Beverly Hills, they are watching the movies submitted to the Academy for consideration. And when they are not getting their vision tested at the DMV so they can drive their Rolls Royces, they are actually filling out their ballots. These are the voters and they are quite simply voting for their peers… and the occasional young punk that’s got some pizazz.
Don’t get mad at me about this, I love old people. I am involved in a service organization that often times benefits the elderly and I constantly brag about my 93 year old WWII veteran grandfather. I am just reporting the obvious. And the obvious is that the Academy Awards can’t find that “sweet spot.” They tried for the younger demographic last year and ended up with the worst awards show in history, and this year they went to the other extreme and ended up with a slightly better awards show that, unfortunately, smelled of Bengay and moth balls. Perhaps next year they will find that happy medium.
Meanwhile, who won? Who cares. Everyone was old. Multiple winners were The Artist and Hugo, each winning five Oscars; and The Iron Lady won two. One comment worth mentioning from my peanut gallery was “France finally won something but how long before they surrender the prize?”
Some advice for the Academy… The short interviews of the Hollywood elite pontificating on what film means to them was a different and enjoyable. The format of having presenters do two awards back-to-back helped speed things along nicely. If the host wants wants to engage in some political humor, it shouldn’t be so one-sided. Lord knows President Barack Obama has provided enough fodder to last all the comedians a lifetime, yet there were no Obama jokes… just a bit putting down the GOP that wasn’t even that funny. What was hilarious was Billy Crystal putting down the Hollywood royalty. He was like Ricky Gervais Light at times, and that was entertaining. The best (and most true) comment of the evening was, “Enjoy yourselves. Because nothing can take the sting out the world’s problems than watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.” Consider a producer and host combo whose ages are between 35 and 55… or at least loved by the 18+ demographic. And if you’re going to do an older host again, please consider Betty White. She’s a lot more “hip” and “cool” — not to mention more relevant — than Billy Crystal.
Something I noticed more so this year than in previous years were the commercials. Sure, the Academy Awards has a huge audience and they usually have a few decent commercials, but this year it felt a little more like the Super Bowl in terms of commercials. In particular, the elaborate JC Penny commercials starring Ellen DeGeneres deserve a mention. In spite of the sad controversy between the “One Million Moms” threat to boycott JC Penny over their decision to hire Ellen as the spokesperson, the commercials were excellent. The only problem with these great commercials were that they were not for Depends, Viagra or Polident. These advertisers really missed a great opportunity.
All in all, this year’s Academy Awards was better than last year’s show, but what do you expect when the bar was set so low last year by Franco and Hathaway?
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Excuse me, but your rant seems a little like something from the “occupy” every place in the western world crowd. I am not sure what you are protesting. Many “old” people are in the position they are in because of long years of hard work. It doesn’t make them any less alive or their viewpoints any less viable. At 58 years old, I think Sasha Cohen’s antics are sophomoric and rude. I didn’t particularly enjoy Ryan Seacrest but also didn’t feel that embarrassing him in front of about 1 billion people was just punishment for his sins. Youth and beauty mean very little if they are not teamed with grace and civility.
With all do respect, Jim, you should read what I wrote about the two young people who hosted the Oscars last year… The title of that piece was “The Worst Academy Awards Show in History.” What you failed to get from my article was that the old people were an improvement from the younger people that did it last year. And, by the way, 58 wasn’t included as “old,” I just noted those 60 years and older.
And believe me, in an industry where there is no such thing as “bad press,” Ryan Seacrest isn’t boo hooing about the incident… and, for all you know, it could’ve been planned. A lot of these types of things are. We don’t know. I find it odd a towel and lint roller were on hand immediately following the incident.
The Academy Awards has lost its mojo… plain and simple. Their pulse is not on America. It’s on the Hollywood bubble. They think Americans are stupid. They think that promoting certain “demographics” is the answer… it’s not. That’s my point with Betty White. It’s not a simple numbers/demographics solution. She’s 90 years old and she would’ve done a much better job than Billy Crystal at 63… and certainly way better than Franco and Hathaway who were 32 and 28 when they hosted. The solution is having their pulse on America. The insulated world of “Hollywood” doesn’t get it.
Well Tim,I didn’t like the AA either but not because it was hosted by Billy or because it had older actors and actresses involved. It just plain wasn’t very entertaining. Having said that I take real offense to your judgement that it failed because they chose the seasoned actors over the conceited youth.The problem with the AA and Hollywood in general is that they truly don’t have a clue about what audiences really enjoy,young or old.Hollywood is filled with drug addled producers,actors, and agents who don’t give a flying flip what most of America really likes. They think the World revolves around them and everything they think and say. There are plenty of talented actors of all ages who are funny and likable that are routinely blackballed because they do not care to lower their values and beliefs just to be given the chance to perform at a show that is riddled with buffoons and sellouts.Just like the real World, the radical leftist have succeeded in dividing the entertainment industry with their twisted ideology and pathetic socialist desires.
Again… the point of the article was that the old folks were an IMPROVEMENT from the young folks… but they both missed the mark. You’re entitled to be offended, but be offended by everyone writing the about the Academy Awards… because we all said the same thing about it being “old.” I just was a little more humorous about it at the expense of the old folks. And you and I couldn’t be closer in our sentiments that Academy does not have their pulse on what the audience wants. The bottom line, it’s not really about everyone’s chronological age… because I think the best host for the Oscars this year would’ve been 90 year old Betty White. Did you not see her on SNL last season?! She was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! It was these people acting their age and older. People say it was “dull.” I say it was dull like going to visit your grandparent’s in their mobile home when you were a kid. It’s was torture… just not as bad as the torture we all received last year from the 32 and 28 year olds who hosted. Maybe they should’ve tried Chris Rock or Hugh Jackman again? Maybe they should’ve really tried to get Eddie Murphy, even after Ratner dropped out. Or, did as I suggested… Betty White.
“In spite of the sad controversy between the “One Million Moms” threat to boycott JC Penny over their decision to hire Ellen as the spokesperson, the commercials were excellent.”
Well Mr. Tim (may I call you Mr. Tim very manly sounding name)you may wish to know that there are more than just a million moms and dads out here in a place called real America who are not happy that a company like J.C. Penny that likes to brand themselves as a corporation that aims at families would embrace, yes I said embrace(because after all she is now the face of J.C. Penny)a homosexual (notice I did not say lesbian because libs love the name game) who flaunts her lifestyle choice down our throats. Yes you may indeed be a Hollyweird Republican but no conservative.
I disagree with you that Ellen “flaunts her lifestyle choice down our throats.” She’s like the female version of Tim Gunn when it comes to sexuality. It’s simply not flaunted. If you think it is, post all your examples. There are just too few to mention.
And what does it take for me to be “conservative” in your eyes… to dislike certain individuals because of what they do behind closed doors? That’s not being “conservative,” that’s being intolerant. You can have intolerant “conservatives” just as easily as you can have tolerant “conservatives” or intolerant “liberals.” I consider myself a person who is for freedom and liberty… a “Republitarian.” A Tea Partier. Molded from the same cast as Thomas Jefferson, *Calvin Coolidge* and Ronald Reagan. A tolerant “conservative.”
And if that is me… then what are you?!
I am most certainly not a Woodrwo Wilson conservative. Putting Wilson and the word conservative in the same sentence is an oxymoron. As far as intolerance is concerned that is a nice liberal word to take people away from the compassion which means they have empathy for the individual without condoning the sin.
Ellen crying on her show about the unfairness of the ban against homosexual marriage, the flaunting of her and Portia Rossi on the red carpet and one time lover Anne Heche just to name a few.
The whole tolerance issue was begun by Morris Dees and was embraced by the left who love name games that mask the real issue such as pro-choice instead of pro-abortion, invest in America innstead of taxes and homophobe instead of a person who believes that homosexuality is a sin.
Yes I am a conservative and please never put Ronald Reagan and Woodrow Wilson in the same category because it shows just how indoctrinated but uneducated you are. And you are in the right place as Hollyweird is right up your alley.
So that you wont have to look him up, Morris Dees was the Alabama attorney who wrote the liberal rag entitled “Teaching Tolerance”. Have you ever wondered why he chose the word tolerance instead of the word compassion? Because compassion indicates empathy for the sinner without condoning the sin while tolerance indicates condoning the sin. Hollywood loves to push the envelope and the word tolerance fits right in.
That book along with the Madalyn Murray O’Hair decision against school prayer has done more to cause conservative parents to send their children to private or parochial schools (or home school) than anything else. And I empthize with every one of them.
One more thought. I do not advocate bedroom police action and yes even though I consider homosexuality a sin I believe what a person does in their own bedroom that does not harm another individual is their business. But please do not patronize me or your readers by saying that Ellen does not preach homosexuality and only practices it in her bedroom.
Ellen flaunts her homosexuality no more than I flaunt my heterosexuality. She flaunts her “marriage” with a woman no more than I flaunt my marriage with a woman. It just so happens that she has a national stage and that puts her more in the public eye. But she rarely, if ever, mentions her sexuality or gay issues on her show. The same with Tim Gunn from “Project Runway.” It’s not being flaunted. And since you are one for definitions, “flaunting” is 1. Display (something) ostentatiously, esp. in order to provoke envy or admiration or to show defiance. 2. Dress or behave in a sexually provocative way. How is Ellen being proactive or vulgar when it comes to her sexuality? She’s not. Lady Gaga, Madonna and Ru Paul are better examples of this. Anyone who prefaces as sentence with “As a gay man…” is a better example of this. But Ellen? No, you are just trying to make her fit your anti-gay narrative. And sorry if you don’t like me pointing that out. When she is invited to a red carpet premiere, is she supposed to leave the person she loves behind… hidden away… out of public view? Your religious teaching, presumably, teach you that being gay is a sin. That’s fine. But is loving another human being, regardless of gender, a sin? Have you no empathy for love? No compassion for people to love? There is the difference between being a “conservative” and being a zealot… and all to often people like you confuse the two, which only adds credence to the Left’s stereotype of Republicans. It’s people like you that make the Republican Party a “small tent.” And it’s people like you why Republicans lose elections they should otherwise win.
And speaking of Reagan and homosexuality… his daughter, Patti Davis, wrote this. “I was about eight or nine years old when I learned that some people are gay — although the word ‘gay’ wasn’t used in those years. I don’t remember what defining word was used, if any; what I do remember is the clear, smooth, non-judgmental way in which I was told. The scene took place in the den of my family’s Pacific Palisades home. My father and I were watching an old Rock Hudson and Doris Day movie. At the moment when Hudson and Doris Day kissed, I said to my father, “That looks weird.” Curious, he asked me to identify exactly what was weird about a man and woman kissing, since I’d certainly seen such a thing before. All I knew was that something about this particular man and woman was, to me, strange. My father gently explained that Mr. Hudson didn’t really have a lot of experience kissing women; in fact, he would much prefer to be kissing a man. This was said in the same tone that would be used if he had been telling me about people with different colored eyes, and I accepted without question that this whole kissing thing wasn’t reserved just for men and women.” That doesn’t make him out to be the anti-gay President you probably believed he was… and neither was Bush… neither is Dick Cheney… and so on.
And, yes, I made a typo. It was late and I don’t know how I typed it… but Woodrow Wilson is not who I meant to write (and it has since been corrected). I meant to write Calvin Coolidge. The consonance did me in. I’ve written extensively how the worst presidents in our history include Wilson, FDR, Carter & Obama… and the best presidents include Jefferson, Coolidge and Reagan. So, yes, I would agree with you that a person that puts Reagan and Wilson together is probably an idiot… but mine was a typo, so you may want to revise your statement.
Well, well Tim let us start over. I do not know you and you certainly do not know me. I have 3 degrees (History and Political science) currently serve on 4 boards, am a past chairman of a Governor’s task force on substance abuse and presently chairman of our local Boy’s and Girl’s Club of America so do not lecture me on compassion my friend. Like many conservatives I don’t give lip service like your Hollywood celebrities I actually give back time and money. And do not lecture me on the small tent concept. This is a progressive idea and is why the Republican party got John McCain. Reagan and Coolidge who you claim to admire were not small tent Republicans so you appear to be very naiive in your history or just unaware. And lastly you have gone from talking about what people do in their bedroom to openly displaying homosexual behavior. You are very scattered Mr. Tim.
Yes, let us start over. I have 2 degrees and serve on 2 boards and have presided over 2 boards. I am currently on the Board of Directors of Kiwanis, a community service organization dedicated to improving our communities and children… so do not lecture me on compassion my friend. Like many “conservatives” I don’t give lip service… I actually give back time and money. And do not lecture me on the Big Tent concept. Alienating those that would otherwise be accepted in the Republican Big Tent by ultra “conservatives” is why the Republican party loses so many Congressional and Statewide elections across the country… and the Big Tent idea is EXACTLY why Reagan won… that is how the term “Reagan Democrats” came to be… because, we said, ‘Here is our platform, we don’t care who you are – gay, straight, black, white, rich, poor — come join us.’ And lastly, if you read my writings, I sing the praises of federalism and how local governing is the best governing… I’ve made no judgments on privacy or people’s sexuality. Why would anyone, that is gay who shares the values of smaller government, less taxation and even less spending, ever, ever, ever want to vote Republican when “conservatives” like you turn to your zealotry in an effort to alienate them? How can you expect to win elections when you are being so judgmental — it almost borders on bigotry, intolerance and zero compassion — and you are alienating people from the Republican party? Hello… it’s a numbers game. You need bodies to vote in order to win. Talk about being “scattered.”
Kiwanis? Whoa that must take a lot. And I love how you cultural libs use the word judgmental when someone challenges self-indulgence. You libs and your name games. Why don’t you become more imaginative with your shallow criticisms? Tolerance, judgemental, blah, blah , blah. You belong in Hollywood. You bore me.
Previously I meant to say Reagan and Coolidge were not big tent Republicans and that big tent philosophy got us McCain in the last election.
I am moving on. But good luck with all that self-indulgent, no discipline, if it feels good do it and damn the role models and full speed ahead attitude. I know you have to be this way because hey man you’re in Hollywood.
Listen, I understand NHV’s frustration. If an alien race intercepted broadcasts of television programming over the last 15 years they would get the idea that over 65% of Earth’s population was gay, lesbian or transvestite. I mean it seems almost every show (and movie) has to have a homosexual presence. Give it a rest already. No way that this doesn’t confuse young minds already confused about growing up. Oh wait maybe that is the whole idea. You think?