The Occupiers: More than Just a Mental Disease
My brother in law, who goes to USC, contracted mumps. Which was crazy to me because isnât mumps a rather obscure disease? Â I mean, didnât it kind of go extinct in the 1950âs? Â According to my pediatrician, an outbreak of mumps has occurred in Downtown Los Angeles. Â Upon further research, I have found that an outbreak of mumps has also occurred in Berkeley. Â I donât mean to jump to any unscientific conclusions but both Berkeley and downtown Los Angeles are at the center of the âoccupy movementsâ in California.
Could the occupy movements be more than a mental disease in our country?
Could the occupy movements be more than a mental disease in our country? Â I mean, what other obscure diseases are afflicting the occupy protesters and could we become afflicted also?
According to my research, there is an outbreak of tuberculosis at the Occupy Atlanta site. Occupy Wall Street in New York has had to make up a name a name for a disease that they are calling Zuccotti Lung which is comprised of coughing and wheezing. Â STDâs are of course running rampant. Â There was nothing about the Los Angeles mumps outbreak when I looked which means there are more diseases out there that arenât common knowledge. Â There is even a guy who had been dead for two days in one of the tents which begs the question, âhow bad does it really smell there?
You canât say that the people of Occupy Wall Street arenât aware of the hygiene problem. Â There are feeble attempts to hand out condoms and hand sanitizer but in the wake of the unsanitary conditions it is like throwing sewing needles at King Kong. Speaking of needles, they can however give clean needles to heroin addicts. Â There are even people such as Jordan McCarthy, 22, who has been assigned to be part of the Occupy Wall Street sanitation (I know) crew. Â Jordan seems astounded that the ladies and gentlemen who are occupying Wall Street might be less than hygienic. Â He complains that they urinate in bottles and throw their scrambled eggs and orange peels outside of their tents instead of garbage cans. Â I mean, just because you donât shower doesnât mean youâre unclean, right? Â All I can think of is that someone as naĂŻve as Jordan might be rube enough to be fooled into being part of the Occupy Wall Street sanitation team. Â Talk about being an unsung hero. Â That man is Sisyphus in the flesh: Â every time youâd pick up a used hypodermic needle or a hot dog bit thereâd be ten to take their place. Â His attempts to clean up the area must be about as useful as giving a breath mint to Larry King to take away the smell (Larry King really is touting a new breath mint with his wife Shawn: Â the commercial is the funniest thing I have ever seen.)
Whoever convinced Jordan to be part of the cleaning crew is wasting their efforts hanging out around Occupy Wall Street. Â They must be the best salesman in the world. Â What could the pitch possibly have been? Â âHey, Jordan: Â you know how New York usually only smells of blue cheese and urine? Â Now it smells like a Democrats sphincter. Â How about you try to do something about it? Â I think youâre just the man to clean it up. Â There will be no pay. Â Really you will be doing nothing to change anything: Â actually it will be a lot like the Occupy movement itself only if you accomplished something everyone in America would appreciate it.â Â Jordanâs response probably is âUhhhh—could I just clean up after the Tea Party?â
I hope the diseases donât spread around to us, the people Obama houses in General Population: Â I was never vaccinated. Â One thing this teaches us is that we human beings have a lot more in common with indoor cats than we think: Â like them, we constantly stand on the precipice of losing our ability to be tame. Â We are one month of living outside from becoming feral. Â So I would reconsider my summer plans of going on that one-month camping trip in the Everglades. Â You might never come back: Â with all your teeth, anyway.