Twas the Night Before Christmas (Washington Style) by Ira Schwartz

Ira Schwartz
December 24, 2009 Posted by Ira Schwartz
Well, it’s Christmas Eve and another year is almost over.  Today we Republicans got a small Christmas present:  Alabama Congressman Parker has switched parties and joined the GOP.  We also got a small slap in the face as the Senate finally passed their version of the Health Care Bill.  But now, is not really the time for politics.  It’s Christmas.  So, with deepest apologies to Clement Moore and Dr. Seuss, here is Ira’s version of the timeless classic:
Twas the Night Before Christmas (Washington Style)
by Ira Schwartz

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hill,
not a creature was stirring it all was so still.

All the pagers and cell phones were charging with care,
No phone calls tonight, on Christmas Eve, who would dare.

The doors were all locked,
There was ne’ry a sound,
As I made my way back from the last of my rounds.

I slowly sat down with the loudest of sighs
And glanced out the window, it was snowing outside.

I turned on the TV to catch up on the news,
and in no time at all I started to snooze.

When all of a sudden I jumped up with a start,
my hands were all sweaty, beat, beat went my heart.

The place was all dark, nobody was there.
I puffed up my chest, there was nothing to fear.

Then out of the darkness came a hideous sound.
My knees started knocking as I looked all around.

It echoed and vibrated then bounced off the walls
till I wasn’t sure where the sound came from at all.

The thumping grew louder and filled me with dread
as visions of politicians danced in my head.

There were Democrats, Republicans and a Liberal or two
When I saw Reid and Pelosi I knew I was through.

They slowly marched forward, I had no place to run
at that very moment I knew I was done.

I stood very still and watched as they passed
Then my knees buckled under and I feel back on my ass.

As I slowly stood up and reached for my chair,
I suddenly realized someone else standing there.

I thought it was Limbaugh or maybe Glenn Beck
Or maybe McCain just out for the trek

But he carried a sack like a thief in the night
his clothing covered in fur, mostly red and some white.

His face was all pudgy, his beard white as snow
his eyes bright as stars, they twinkled you know

He looked all around then walked up to the tree
and lowered his bulk to the ground on one knee.

Then he opened the bag and looked in with a smile.
Rolled up his sleeve and reached into the pile

and removed a wrapped gift neatly tied with a bow.
Then gently placed the bright box neath the tree down below.

Quickly he stood looking East, looking West.
Then gently he tapped the Santa pin on his chest.

“Beam me up Scotty” was all he did say
Then he winked quite smartly as he looked back my way.

A smile crossed his face as he picked up his sack
and disappeared in a flash as simply as that.

Confused and perplexed I stood from the chair
and walked cross the room to the present right there.

A smile filled my face as I giggled with glee
I read the small card, it had been made out to me.

I ripped off the wrapping and opened the box
what I found lying inside simply left me in shock

Only one thing lay there all yellowed with age
Only one thing lay there not two but one page

It was beautifully written a sight to behold
The first three words, “WE THE PEOPLE”
Standing proud and so bold.
I ran past the congress and flew past the Senate
past Nelson, past Lieberman, past McCain and past Bennet.

I threw open the door and ran into the night
and saw in the sky an incredible sight.

O’er the roof of the Capitol in the brisk winters night
hovered eight frisky reindeer and a sleigh ready for flight

It was trimmed with bright tinsel all gold, green and red
The jolly plump pilot tossed back his capped head.

“Go tell them inside what that paper does say
Make them remember these words won’t go away”

“If you can do this”, he continued to say
“Then tomorrow will truly be a most joyous day”

He turned back to his team, “Giddeyap” he did cry.
And those eight reindeer and sleigh shot into the sky.
As it soared on and on up out of sight
He said ”Merry Christmas to all and with Freedom goodnight.”

© 2009 by Ira Schwartz. All rights reserved. Used with permission

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4 Responses to Twas the Night Before Christmas (Washington Style) by Ira Schwartz

  1. Craig Covello on December 24, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Wow! What a great poem. Now I'm in the Christmas spirit and ready for the new year. Thanks Ira. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  2. Ira on December 24, 2009 at 10:46 am

    The same to you and your family Craig.

  3. Anonymous on December 25, 2009 at 4:12 am

    Great poem. Are we victims of analysis paralysis? Do we know the difference between criticism and an “action plan?”

    The opposition has an excellent strategy a powerful summary being the Sal Alinsky “Rules for Radicals.” They have executed flawlessly with patience, singularity of purpose and ruthlessness that exposes a crushing desire to win. So why are we always in the mode of analysis, examining with great detail and accuracy and demeaning the successes of this winning, but misguided, movement?

    The Climate change strategy has been around for decades. The misdirection is global warming, global cooling, and now climate change. Cleaning up the smog and scrubbing the sulfur out of cracking towers is legitimate. But we are the frog in the boiling water. As a super power we are being held in the dark, dealing with a false premise, while the goal and objective is the New World Order. If you believe that half of what you earn, or half of your Childs academic grade should be transferred to an underperforming entity, individual, state or sovereign nation, than you are a soldier for the redistribution of wealth, whether it is knowledge or tangible assets.

    The school text books, scientific articles and peer review oversight are at the very least corrupted. And the lies will endure, until truth prevails, visit the 1925 Scopes trial, Islam, and Catholicism. Visit the indoctrination that infidels will not enter heaven, a position once held by the Catholic Church. And this is no academic exercise. This is the essence of reality in Iran, North Korea, and in the battle of survival of the fittest.

    Attack the opposition’s strength. To do that we must have a precise, an articulated mission and goal and a dedication that surpasses the opposition’s fervor on every front. That isn’t going to happen if we continue to applaud rhetoric and refuse to acknowledge action.

    Turn the tables, find a crisis and exploit it. Healthcare may be it. That is Chicago politics. Success will not come without great pain and suffering. Conservatism is fragile but resilient. We forget that we taught the world with Nathan Hale’s famous proclamation (check further if you are puzzled).

    And need we be reminded that in the arena of social injustice, waste, fraud corruption and abuse, civil disobedience is paramount…so we were taught by Martin Luther King. There is no choice other than Liberty or Tyranny.

    Our capital is historic and is haunted with the legendary ghosts of our founding fathers. The three branches of our government at times are sick, corrupt, maddening, frustrating and patronizing. Revisit the civil rights movement, the abolition of slavery, then the evil of bribing and purchasing votes, with tax payer largess, whether it be with perks, pork or waivers on financial inclusion or exclusion, this chicanery also will eventually fall, either through rational legislation or creative destruction. Will we live to see either?

    When our back is to the wall: when life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is at risk; history documents we will fight under the one and only rule of engagement that being Nathan Hale’s “I regret I have but one life to give for my country.”

    The “command and control”, mandate of healthcare is a move that may well go down in infamy as the beginning of the end of Democracy. This is the first substantive, unconstitutional legislative bill that openly tinkers with Marxism.

    There are two evils that can and will destroy democracy. One is Marxism where the government does not own but acquires control over the private sector as TARP, the Stimulus Bill and this healthcare bill do.

    The second evil is Fascism, the combination of radical and authoritarian nationalism, a belief that the majority is unsuited to govern itself, a move to a single party system where the government takes ownership or nationalizes private industry as it has with General Motors. This is not a case study in academia. It is a work in progress that must be halted and deconstructed.

    While America fiddles what will Benjamin Netanyahu do?

  4. Anonymous on December 26, 2009 at 8:34 am

    Great poem. So fitting! Hope you have a good new year! Thank You!
    Gammy Sparkles

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